Mental Health: Scattered Thoughts

I did not realize there was a spam folder on this account until last week or so. I went through and approved all those that didn’t look like spam, but I couldn’t tell for certain on some. If you left a comment and I didn’t approve it, I am sorry for that. I greatly appreciate any comments that people leave.

One comment made mention of being unaware of where I get my information. I speak from personal experience and what I have learned from professionals such as my psychiatrist. Years of introspection and self-examination has helped me considerably. If you read any of my non-fiction posts and have questions, I would be more than happy to answer questions.

Jumping onto a tangent, hence the post name, is a conversation I had today with my mother. We have talked before about when I nearly died of meningitis. My first birthday was spent in a hospital with iv’s running into my ankles. It was looking at the scars that prompted the discussion. Having been in a coma was new to me, as was that I had several spinal taps. The tubes went to my ankles because I had been pulling them out. Knowing that there was enough affecting my brain that it is practically a guarantee that brain damage occurred. It is a relief to know that I was right guessing at that, but also knowing that there is probably no amount of medication to correct my mental health troubles.

Jumping from a tangent to another tangent is a happier topic. I actually got out of the house today and even socialized. Money concerns make me feel guilty about going out. Also, I feel as though I am not worth inflicting myself on other people. Self-esteem issues, depression, and anxiety do not make socializing easy, but today I left the bubble and spent time with high school friends. I got to the coffee house early, spending the time working on another piece of short fiction and reading Khalil Gibran. My troubles concentrating and reading are not as frustrating given that the pieces are so short. It was lovely and calming. I think Sundays may become the day to go to town for a few hours.

Thank you for coming around. I apologize if it is too much of a downer, but these are some of the things that weigh on my mind and I must divest myself of them. I hope you come around more and find my posts interesting, helpful, or both. Take care of yourself, darlings, and please be kind to yourselves.