This is depression. This is anxiety. This is two consecutive days off anxiety attacks. This is suicidal ideation. This is my reality. This is what I can no longer hide. This is now, and always has been, my life.
Mental Health: A Day in the Life
Quiet Dreams: “Are you okay?”
Trigger warning I was recently asked this question and received a shocked reaction to a short laugh and the reply "I am absolutely not okay." For over two years my mental health has deteriorated exponentially compared to the teetering it experienced beforehand. I have become ever more withdrawn from society in general and those close... Continue Reading →
Mental Health: Almost a Human
A week or so ago I feel asleep without taking my meds and that night messed me up for several days. Strangely, though, I have since been able to focus better at work. Home? Not so much. There is still more than I can manage at work, but I am making progress. A tweet I... Continue Reading →
Poem: Daily
My feet are heavy Weighted and dragging Knees asking, begging For unlooked for relief The anchors on my feet Tugging on a line Connected to the heart Every footfall Thudding in my soul Weary, craving rest Yet none is offered No signs of respite Either near or far Shoulders sagging Pushed down by thoughts Too... Continue Reading →
The Nightmare Plague (Entire Series up to 3-5-22)
Voices Within He chose the blue paint. The color reminded him of their trip to the ocean. It wasn’t the vivid blue he expected, certainly not like that in the books he grew up with. But, on one day of clear weather, the sky was brilliant with shades of blue mixed with whites and grays,... Continue Reading →
Quiet Dreams: I don’t know what to do anymore
So, it has been nearly three months since I last posted and rather sporadic for some time before that. I had surgery in June that led to me being home-bound for seven weeks. That was when things really started to go downhill. It was frustrating not being able to run errands or even to do... Continue Reading →
Mental Health: By Just A Thread
Realistically, the title is an exaggeration. Hanging by my fingertips and occasionally sliding down the cliff would be more accurate. Perhaps even Sisyphean would be a better example. I have been pushing through depression and stress for so long now that my mind feels as though it is being pushed through stone in a near... Continue Reading →
Short Fiction: A New Life, A New Journey
She was young and thin, almost to the point of emaciation. The welts had mostly subsided, but there was no position she could find that didn’t cause them to ache. The principal had called again. With six missed days in two weeks, she must have suspected something. They never let her leave the house until... Continue Reading →
Poetry: Trusting the Past
I have known you for a lifetime Considered you a constant companion You possessed my trust Through many dark days Now look at where we have come There is no presence My life is forsaken This spirit is foundering Introspection is cruelty Seeing now the past through new sight Am I truly made in your... Continue Reading →
Mental Health: Concerned, Yet Not
Well, it seems changing my secondary medication to Cymbalta is helping tremendously, which is fortunate considering I will have surgery on Wednesday. If it wasn't I would certainly be considerably more upset over this. I've never had significant surgery before, even though this is "minor" work being done. I am bothered by the prospect, but... Continue Reading →
Quiet Dreams 